a loving touch …

A friend recently mentioned that her husband was always asking her to scratch his back, and she got tired of it so she bought him a back scratcher.

It was just an off-hand comment so we really didn’t discuss it, but I’ve thought about that conversation since then and wish I had told her about my extensive experience with back scratching.

There are definitely two kinds of back scratching — when the back itches — and as a loving touch.

I don’t remember why I started this practice, but I have used back scratching as a loving touch for my family for a long time.  DD has told me that she fondly remembers me coming into her room to wake her up when she was a little girl and scratching her back as I told her it was time to get up.

And I’ve continued that practice.  If one of my loved ones is sitting near me, or a small one is on my lap, I will just give them a little back scratch.  The response is always a positive one — from a loud “ahhhhh” to just a simple sigh — and almost always followed by a thank you.  And with Hubby, unsolicited back scratches for him are a long-time habit, which he always says he appreciates.  But, by the way, if his back really itches he has a back scratcher.

So my advice is that when a loved one asks you to scratch their back, if it is because it really itches, hand them a back scratcher.  But, if it’s possible it’s really a request for a loving touch, take the time to give it.

I like it that when I am gone, one of the memories my grandchildren might have of me is as a great back scratcher!

7 Responses to a loving touch …

  1. Linda says:

    My grandmother could always be counted on for a great back scratch. It was a tradition. I look back now and wonder if anyone ever scratched HER back. You make a good distinction between scratching an itch and ministering to another with a loving touch.

  2. Josh says:


    It’s been a looooooooooooooooong time! How are you doing?

    I’m here years later for the same reason I was here originally: I need your help.

    I really, really, really, enjoy writing, but you saw what happened last time. I got scared 😦

    Would you mind whipping me into shape and keepin’ me honest? I’d really like to stick to blogging this time.

    Thanks SO much!

    P.S. My wife scratches my back daily. Actually, she scratched my back this mroning after going two days (a long time!) without scratching my back, and even commented “Whoa! It’s been a while since I’ve done this!)

    Forget the stomach: a way to a man’s heart is on his back 🙂

  3. Sandra says:

    Thanks, Linda. You’re right — sometimes the doer doesn’t get to enjoy the treatment they given others. But, of course, I don’t have that problem because I just tell Hubby, “Scratch my back, will you?” Not subtle, but it works. 🙂

    Josh! Long time no hear! I went over to your blog and read your “re-entry” post and was immediately charmed by your writing all over again. I can’t believe you didn’t print off all the suggestions I gave you and frame them. But since you obviously didn’t, I’ll look for them and send them to you. Welcome back. You were meant to blog. 🙂

  4. Hilary says:

    It’s such a loving gesture. Who doesn’t love a good back scratch? My nail are rarely long, but once every couple of summers they begin to do well for some unexplained reason. This year was a good growth year for my nails and from around May onward, they started growing pretty long. They were GREAT back-scratchers. The last one broke off just today. I’m done for another couple of years. I’ll be offering up scratches again in 2013.

  5. Josh says:

    Sandra! Don’t do all that work coming up with what you gave me in the past — I’ll always have that in my memory for the rest of my life (thank you so much!).

    I just need a cheerleader really (you’re the best one I know :).

    I need to be held accountable!

    • Sandra says:

      Josh — I had missed this comment until now. You really don’t need anything from me — you are a natural at blogging. But I will certainly be a cheerleader for you. And, without knowing it, you have done the same for me. I had kind of been languishing on my blog and writing less and less, but you re-entering the picture has re-energized me and I’m going to start posting more often. Thank you!

  6. Vicki says:

    Hi Sandra!
    I love this post–all my kids loved a good back scratching or gentle tickling–especially the younger two! Hubby likes it too–but sometimes he needs the wooden backscratcher!
    Thanks for your comment on my recent post! “C” and I just said the other day that we wondered if you’d be passing through Arkansas this fall! If so, be sure to call us so we can meet up for dinner!

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