This is so boring — and embarrassing! Standing here in easy view from the road with this silly rubber-tired “girly” wagon hooked up to me instead of some “manly” farm wagon or even just my usual buggy. What if one of my friends trots by — I’ll never hear the end of this!
This wagon, buggy, Amish bus — whatever you want to call it — looks like something you’d see at an amusement park. Not that I’ve ever been to one of those. Oh no, when they want to go somewhere fun like that they have a driver take them in a van! Suurre, leave ol’ Dobbin at home when you go somewhere interesting!
So, here I am. Coolin’ my heels wayyy at the back of the Cracker Barrel parking lot, hooked up to this contraption and with nothing to look at but a dumb corn field. At least if it was oats, I could be dreaming about my next meal! I even have to turn around to watch the people coming out and getting into their cars. I really do enjoy people-watching, they are sooo interesting, so I prefer hitching posts that face the parking lot, in case anybody’s taking notes!
Wait a minute. Why’s that car stopping right behind me? A lady’s getting out. What’s that in her hand. Too much to hope for that it’s an apple — or a fly swatter! The flies are pretty bad today. It’s a camera! She’s taking my picture! Well, that’s nice. Since Amos and Anna and the others don’t like to have their picture taken, I don’t get my picture taken very often either, and I have noooo problem posing for a picture.
Here, lady. Let me give you my glamour pose! Does standing up on this curb make me look taller, and give a nice slimming arch to my back?
Well, there she goes. I don’t have much hope that she got a good shot of me. She didn’t act like she knew what the heck she was doing with that camera.
Oh, well. I wish my people would hurry. I’m tired of looking at corn. I’m ready to go home for some nice, tasty oats, and to get rid of this rubber-tired sissy-mobile!
(And when “the lady” get’s better at Photoshop, she’ll take the poop out of a picture like this! Oh, well. As Pioneer Woman says, “Let’s keep it real.”)