Many years ago, when I was lamenting something I had said to someone, Hubby said, “Well, the law of averages says that if someone talks as much as you do, they are bound to put their foot in their mouth once in a while.” We laughed at the time, but, in reality, I have spent my whole life thus far proving that theory.
I’m not kidding when I describe myself as “in my head, out my mouth.” This is mostly true when I am nervous, excited, angry or especially when I’m going for a laugh — but also when I’m happy, sad, euphoric, bummed, giggly, defensive, etc., in other words, regularly.
Once again, I woke up this morning thinking about something I said to someone yesterday in jest, that I look back on and wonder if I embarrassed them. It was a short, quick comment, so if I did, I don’t think I embarrassed them badly, but I regret it just the same.
I have asked God many, many times why I can’t learn to think before I speak, and I believe I have finally (I’m a slow learner) heard His answer. Here’s what I think He’s telling me:
First, when you choose to be the “class clown” (and I chose that as my persona when I was very young), you give up something in return. There is a price to be paid for you always wanting to make people laugh — both by you and others.
You give up “keeping your own counsel.” Many spontaneous thoughts that would best be kept to yourself so that they can be savored or re-thought or prayed about or measured for their worth (or their pain to another) or even rejected — are instead spilled out as soon as they’re thought for the sake of a laugh. What makes you popular, hardly ever makes you wise.
And, for the sake of your humor, your family and friends give up something too. At times, they definitely wish that their shortcomings, missteps or their own mis-spokes didn’t have to become fodder for your humor. And, it’s surely harder to confide in and trust someone with your deepest thoughts when you know that person can’t resist a good punchline, no matter what the subject.
Secondly, and most importantly, I believe God has worked all my life to make me less judgemental of others. And, how better to teach someone to be more forgiving of others, than to make them painfully aware of their own frequent needs to be forgiven? But its taken me this long to truly understand this connection. Like I said, I’m a sloooow learner.
So, starting today, this will be part of my morning prayer: “Please let me see the actions and words of others in the best light. Help me to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. And, let my humor be in all ways kind and uplifting.”
“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye?” Luke 6:41
Point taken, Lord. Now for the hard part — applying it!
Add Humor and Faith....mix well 
What a deep and introspective post today. I was especially intrigued by the line, “What makes you popular hardly ever makes you wise.” If it’s any consolation, I “played back” as much as I could remember of what was said while I was with you yesterday and couldn’t think of a thing that might have been construed as offensive. But this post is a good reminder to all of us of the power of the tongue.
Remember my SIL’s twin grandsons she brought to the WW meeting? Hubby had noticed at our last family get-together than one had his shorts on backwards, and told him so that he could go “fix” them. I tried to think of something I could talk to the twins about while we were standing in line, and they looked bored, so I brought that up. The twin who had done it didn’t act like it bothered him, but who knows what a 7 year old is thinking?
Jane was standing beside me and saved me somewhat though. She said to him “You should have told Uncle J that THAT’S the way they’re wearing shorts now, and that HE’S wrong!” Nice save by her.
what an awesome post! I too have the habit of ‘open mouth….insert foot’
I hadn’t thought of it this way until you mention it and yes there is the valuable lesson of being less judgemental of others…and the humor thing..well at least being able to laugh at your own mistakes helps the sting a bit. 9at least with me)
Thanks, tz. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Yes, some of my best humor is telling stories on myself!
That is one of my favorite Bible verses. I repeat it to myself as needed (in other words, A LOT).
I have a feeling that you are more thoughtful in your speech than you are giving yourself credit for.
I’m not a talker, but I also have the weakness for going for the punchline. I know that sometimes that isn’t the wisest choice. But sometimes IT IS. Don’t hide your light. God gave you humor, and I think He delights in it.
SBW — Thank you for looking for the best in me –I think that’s exactly what God wants us to do, and you demonstrate it regularly in your blog and in your comments like this. You are a kind soul who I am blessed to know.
A lovely post as always – I don’t get over here often enough!
“What makes you popular, hardly ever makes you wise.” – right through the heart!
dlyn — nice to hear from you. I’m glad I found your blog — I always enjoy it!
Nice prayer. How’s it working for you? I have the same habit (well, maybe not as bad as you, haha), but I am good about checking in with the person to sincerely apologize if I may have hurt them. Because people love you, they understand.
HPKT — Wellll, it’s not like night and day or anything, but it’s hard to gauge what you HAVEN’T said! You’re right — it does help to be willing to apologize — a really hard thing to do. But in the end, it feels the best.