What Were We Thinking in the 70’s?

I received this in an e-mail and just had to share it with you.  The commentary by the guy gets a little “sticky” sometimes, but, overall, I think it is hilarious!  Hope you do to.

He says:  Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife’s grandfather. While my wife’s brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:

A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It’s not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:

There’s plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I’m not going to bore you with that. Instead, I’m going to bore you with something else. The clothes. The clothes are fantastic.

Here’s how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It’s like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here’s how to get your ass kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he’s pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here’s how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:

This “all purpose jumpsuit” is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can’t see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it’s slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here’s how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob “No-pants” Saget has his hand in the other guy’s pocket. In this case, he doesn’t, although you can tell just by looking at them that it’s happened – or if it hasn’t happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here’s how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

He looks like he’s reaching for a gun, but you know it’s probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don’t sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you’d be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick’s Day

Dear God in heaven, I don’t believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you’re working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this — Seriously. No words.

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. H***. I’m guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I’m guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don’t they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled “Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best.”

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says “I love the way your junk fights against that fabric.”

Then, after the lovin’, you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:

I could go on, but I’m tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it’s the colors.

That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:

Man, that’s sexy.

9 Responses to What Were We Thinking in the 70’s?

  1. I have seen this on more than one occasion, but it still makes me laugh every time! I have some old school pictures somewhere that would have fit perfectly in these pages.

  2. Danielle. says:

    Oh Sandra…

    Thanks for putting a huge smile on my face…

    LOL…I cant stop laughing…how to get your ass kicked of the golf course….what a classic !!!

    Have a great weekend.

  3. Gunny says:

    It’s not as funny when I can remember my mother dressing me like the kid. This may explain the number of time I got my ass kicked. But the rest was pretty funny.

  4. Sandra says:

    New Diva and Danielle — Glad you enjoyed it as much as I did.

    Gunny — Actually when I saw that picture of the kid, I thought, “I think I bought him that outfit!” (Even the same haircut!) So, you might be right. Sorry ’bout the “a__ kicking.” But, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” –both in clothes and mothers!

    Love, Mom

  5. Doc says:

    You may not believe me…but I am telling the truth. Growing up my family actually had those old whisky barrel table and chairs… I think we finally got rid of them in 1986… LOL!

    Ahhh memories

  6. Oh my goodness, this is so funny. My friend’s family had those barrel chairs and I thought they were so cool.

    The jumpsuit really sent me over the edge. Absolutely hilarious.

  7. Sandra says:

    Doc — When I first saw the picture of that set, I thought, “I think I remember wishing I had a knotty pine family room so that I could buy those to put in it!” Sadly, I’m not kidding either.

    SBW — Honestly, SBW, I DO remember thinking those were cool. But, as Gunny mentioned in his comment, I also remember dressing my darling little boy just like the boy in the catalog too. I knew a black guy who had one of the jumpsuits (SHINEY orange) — and he was considered kind of a fashion “icon” at work! I have no excuse for having obvious been a willing participant in this whole, sorry era.

  8. I haven’t laughed so hard in weeks; thanks for making me laugh so hard that I had to stop reading periodically to clear the tears from my eyes. My favorite was the golf outfit.

  9. Sandra says:

    Mrs. 4444 — I laughed out loud when I first saw these too. And, these were PENNEY’s for heaven sake. What must the “way out there” stuff have looked like!

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