Sharing A Hospital Room With a Blond Bombshell

 

When I was expecting our second child (who turned out to be our Daughter Divine) and my due date was drawing near, Mama was with me when I was buying some new nightgowns for my hospital stay.  As we were browsing in that department, several times I saw cute ones I thought I  might buy.  But Mama kept pointing out the practicality of the rack of warm and functional flannel gowns.  And she finally convinced me.  I thought, “What the heck.  It’s for the hospital, which might be a little cold, and besides who cares what you look like in the maternity ward where everyone has just had a baby!”  She also talked me out of buying a new robe and slippers when I had perfectly good ones already.  “This is no fashion show.” she said, referring to the maternity ward.  She was right, of course, but I did end up wishing, just this once, that Mama hadn’t been there with her practical advice, and that I had been a little less practical.  

 So, the big day came, and I had our beautiful baby girl, and a little while later she was taken to the nursery (before mothers and babies shared rooms) and I was taken to a room — and met my new roommate who supposedly had just had her baby less than a day earlier.  Wow!  She was an absolutely beautiful blond who was very well endowed and, as I soon found out, had brought a whole wardrobe of beautiful, somewhat revealing nightgowns and robes for her hospital stay (which I’m guessing her mother had not helped her pick out!).  Obviously a woman who wasn’t going to let little post-partem inconveniences like pain, stitches, lactation and gas keep her from looking her best! 

That was the beginning of a very interesting three days as “Blondie’s” roommate. 

It just so happened that some remodeling was being done on the hospital at the time, with scaffolding right outside our windows.  Which meant we could see workmen coming and going outside our window most of the day, unless of course, the curtains were closed because we needed privacy.  But, the curtains were open most of the time.  So, it didn’t take long for the workmen to discover Blondie.  As I remember it, one of them almost fell off the scaffolding while “glancing” in the window when he should have been watching his step instead. Blondie just smiled at all the attention.  It was clear that she was used to attracting it.

Blondie was really a very nice roommate — considerate and friendly, but she, obviously, wasn’t the ideal roommate when it came to my somewhat fragile just-had-a-baby self-esteem. 

She would go into our shared bathroom in the morning and come out in a beautiful nightgown and matching robe, showing her voluptuous figure to best advantage, perfectly made up, and with her long blonde hair done up in gorgeous curls on top of her head.  She completed the look with high heeled slippers, for heaven sake!  (Did they accidently put her on the wrong floor?  Could this woman have possibly just given birth? Maybe the baby they sometimes brought her was rented!)  If you are old enough to remember what Bridget Bardot looked like in her heyday, you can picture how Blondie looked after her morning “assembly.”

I, on the other hand, would go into the bathroom for my morning shower and reappear shortly thereafter, face freshly scrubbed but mostly unadorned, brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, and wearing one of my practical little flannel numbers, tastefully accessorized with my comfy chenille robe and fuzzy slippers.  I’m sure when Blondie and I walked down the hall together (fuzzy slippers shuffling and stiletto heels clicking; chenille drooping and satin swishing) we probably looked like the “before” and “after” pictures on one of today’s make-over TV shows. 

Blondie told me that she and her husband had both been married before, and this baby girl was their first child together, and a first daughter for both of them.  I could have guessed that when her husband showed up the first day with so many gifts that he had had to borrow a cart from the gift shop, because he couldn’t carry them all.  He then proceeded to fill her side of the room with pink baby things from the local high-end baby store and two dozen pink roses.

I did have more visitors than Blondie, but even that wasn’t particularly an ego boost because when some of my visitors would walk into the room (and not just those of the male variety) they would be immediately dazzled  — and distracted — and have trouble carrying on a conversation with me, the person they had come to see — not only because of Blondie’s gorgeous presence, but because her side of the room was a wonderland in pink, looking like a combination baby store/flower shop.

Luckily, my husband is not, and never has been, easily dazzled.  So, when he came to visit me, he may not have been carrying arm-loads of presents, but he also didn’t spend his time looking at my roommate.  I have never loved my not-impressed-with-razzle-dazzle man more.

But, apparently Hubby did notice the contrast between Blondie’s side of the room, i.e., the pink wonderland, and my unadorned side of the room, and felt sorry for me, because he obviously decided this required extreme measures to even the odds a bit.  The second day I was there , a dozen of the most beautiful dark red  roses I had ever seen were delivered by a florist — from Hubby!  Now, I have made it clear in previous posts how temporary and therefore extravagant Hubby considers flowers, so this was a huge shock to me — but a wonderful, ego-boosting shock for which I will always be grateful.  His so-out-of-character gesture made me feel beautiful and loved — exactly the result he was hoping for. 

By the way, there was one particularly interesting tidbit I learned from Blondie:  those luscious curls on top of her head? — she confided, it was a wiglet!!  I had never heard of one before, but I went right home and bought one, so that I too could have beautiful curls at any time.  Of course, I didn’t get quite the same result with my wiglet as Blondie did with hers, but it was pretty darn handy to be able to pull all of my hair up on top of my head and plop that little cap of curls right on top — instant hairdo!  A real plus when you have a newborn baby and a two year old.

The maternity ward was an interesting place back in the 60’s when you actually stayed for a few days.  And, sometimes you met verrry interesting people — like my roommate, Blondie.

23 Responses to Sharing A Hospital Room With a Blond Bombshell

  1. Belinda says:

    This post of yours is the funniest article that I have ever read that references the word “lactation”. I laughed out loud reading it.
    Have a great day.

  2. tz says:

    what a great story (i think I may have said that once or twice before on your blog!) Your husband sounds like a great guy.

  3. dlyn says:

    Awesome post! My roomates consisted of a 15 yr old incest victim with my older daughter [unfortunately I am not kidding, but the girl was thrilled with her baby – she haunted me for a long time] and a woman having her 8th baby with my second daughter. She had NO company – by her own request she said. She considered her 3 days in the hospital a major vacation and she wasn’t having it interrupted by people coming to gawk. She was hilarious. great blog – bookmarking for future visits 🙂

  4. Sandra says:

    Belinda – glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to try to remember all the little facts that went with this story, and get it down on “paper.”

    tz – Yes, he is a great guy. And, he knows when to be practical and when some “splurge” is needed!

    dlyn – I LOVE your story about the mom w/8 kids. And, I’ve now visited your blog, and love it too!
    Glad you stopped by so we could “meet.”

  5. Finally, it all makes sense. You stole me from my real parents at the hospital, Grace Kelly and Prince Ranier.

    Wiglets Mom? Really?

  6. Who knows–maybe she’s writing a post about you this very minute; about how much she had admired your confidence and unassuming attitude and how she wished she had had her priorities straight back then (before the divorce). (Just kidding.) Nice post.

  7. Danielle. says:

    Oh I loved this story…..When I had Stumpy I had my own private room….but used to love scooting around and checking out the talent.. maybe shuffling for less of a better word …

  8. Sandra says:

    Yes,Jen, the secret is finally out — you aren’t really ours. But, your real parents weren’t Grace and the prince — you were really the love child of Minney Mouse and Donald Duck — explaining your love of all things Disney (and the webs between your toes!).

    Half-Past Kissin’ – I LOVE your name! Even more since I’ve gone to your site and read about the rest of your mom’s fun sayings. Yes, I like to think that I was an inspiration to Blondie during that short association! 😀 If she IS writing about me right now, I would LOVE to read her version of these events!

    Danielle – We would NEVER have been able to afford a private room; we didn’t have insurance at the time. But, if we HAD, I wouldn’t have had this fun experience to write about, so guess it was just as well. If I had been in a room by myself, I’m sure I would have done as you did — lots of visiting other rooms. We are social “animals” aren’t we? 🙂

  9. The Eastsider says:

    I love your story. My first child was born as a 9/11 baby. That is what the hospital called the June 2002 babies; it was very busy for them.

    Unfortunately because of this, I got to share a room with a very interesting person who was having lactation issues. Her husband would let everyone know when he met you what type of issues she was having. As my husband stated, I really do not need to know that about your wives breasts nor the problems she is having. We were opposites, at night I would watch CNN or Fox News and she had Jerry Springer on.

    I was blessed that my doctor was the chair of the quality patient care committee and when he found out that I buzzed the nurse to help me out of bed with my IV and the nurse dealt with her, I was quickly moved to one of the nicest single rooms the Mommy/Baby ward has.

  10. Sandra says:

    Eastsider — Stories like yours make me realize how fortunate I actually was to have Blondie. She was really very nice and, more importantly, considerate. Glad you had some “pull” so you could improve your situation.

  11. Chrissy says:

    Love this story, great post! I know how I felt after my first child was born, but I wasn’t even there 24 hrs, so I didn’t worry to much!!

  12. Fantastic post! Comparing flannel nightgowns with Blondie’s attire says it all. Love it.

  13. Sandra says:

    Chrissy — I’m really sorry that new mothers don’t get to stay in the hospital very long any more, and they have the baby in the room with them full-time to-boot! When I had my kids the routine stay was actually 5 days, but we didn’t have insurance (hubby was a bricklayer at the time), and my deliveries were very routine, so our dr. would release me after three — but I really had fun those three!

    Thank you SBW — I know I don’t have to tell you that there are times that you write something and afterwards you think, “I really like the way that sounds.” That was the case with “shuffling and clicking” — it just came out of my fingers and I laughed out loud — as surprised as anyone!

    BTW, SBW, I did index cards this week and Hubby helped me review them — and I got an “A” yesterday! We also had an author as a guest speaker — Brandt Dobson. I’m loving the class.

  14. Hello? Anybody home? This post has been up forever….please write something your fans are waiting.

    Anon.

  15. Glad you are liking your class, learning the craft, and rubbing elbows with fellow writers. Keep on writing!

  16. cathy says:

    Absolutely LOVED this post! I’m glad you are doing oldiest this week so I could see this!

    My post-birthing experiences weren’t near as memorable, but I do remember my roommate having a young visitor come in and he thought I was still pregnant and said so! I was devastated! I thought my post-partem (sp?) belly looked pretty good after delivering twins! Sure a lot smaller than I was pre-delivery!

  17. Sandra says:

    Cathy — “young” and “he” says it all. CLUELESS! But, I’m sure it hurt even from him.

    btw, I was not a fan of the show “Murphy Brown” but I did enjoy the show that showed her giving birth, and dealing with her male co-workers who said clueless and idiotic things to her.

    Glad you enjoyed this post. It’s one of my favorites.

  18. What a hoot! A wiglet, eh. Instant hairdo sounds like a dream. I still keep in contact with the lady I shared a room with after the birth of my first son. (I didn’t have roomies with the other two births.) I’ve enjoyed stopping by your blog.

  19. Sandra says:

    Totallyscrappy — I’m glad you enjoyed it. I kept in touch for a while with the woman I shared my room with when I had our son, but blondie and I didn’t keep in touch — we didn’t have alot in common, except our wiglets, of course! 🙂

  20. Beth says:

    Wow, that is a GREAT story! So funny!

    When I was a couple of months post-partum, I was laying on the couch. Chickie grabbed the still-loose skin on my stomach and was wiggling it back and forth. “Mommy,” she said, “I’m folding your belly button!!

    I was definitely not a “bombshell” after having my kids!

  21. Sandra says:

    Oh, Beth — I share those memories. I remember being “foldable” too! 🙂

  22. Haha what a great story! You’re so lucky to have a husband like that!

  23. Sandra says:

    Treasa — I’m glad you enjoyed it! I DID luck out in the “husband lottery”! 🙂

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