Save the Honey for the Biscuits!

We will occasionally have a server in a restaurant (usually a female) who will call us by “terms of endearment” — like sweety, dear, darlin’ and, most frequently, honey.

Tell me truthfully.  Is there someone reading this post who finds this charming?  If you do, I would appreciate hearing what good feeling this evokes.  I mean that seriously, because I am always put off by it, but maybe that’s not the case with everyone, and I really would like to see it more positively.

As I’m typing this, I think I’ve just had an “ah ha” moment.  Maybe it is about making you really look at them and see them as a person rather than just the arm that extends in front of you to place a plate, refill a glass or leave a check.  I do know that when this happens I DO look at the person’s face — it DOES get my attention.  Maybe I’ve answered my own question of, “Why the heck would a waitress think she should speak to customers with such familiarity?”  Maybe the thinking is that if you see the waitress as a person, you will feel more of a “connection,” and consequently tip more generously.

Unless someone can give me a good reason to think otherwise, my current thinking is — I wish they would just concentrate on giving good service and save the “honey” for the biscuits!

9 Responses to Save the Honey for the Biscuits!

  1. I doubt it’s for bigger tips, but maybe. If she were a great waitress and hussling for tips, she would see which customers like those terms and which ones don’t, and serve accordingly.

    I think it’s part of their personality…you either have that in you or you don’t. I couldn’t pull off calling anyone over the age of four “honey,” but some people can do it. I actually like it when people use those kind of terms, but I know many people don’t like it. I think your waitress is just being herself.

    I’m a former cocktail waitress and never called any customer “honey.” I called them “jerk” once in awhile, but not where they could hear me.

  2. Chrissy says:

    Not quite sure on this one! I was a waitress and a bartender for a while and I can’t say that the word hone, honey or sweetie fell out of my mouth, matter-of-fact when younger people say it to me I tend to get a little angry (and not just when server’s say it). I don’t think it is always appropriate, but always take it within the way it was spoken! I don’t think it is meant to hurt, but those who use those terms frequently need a “talkin to”!

  3. Chrissy says:

    Sounds wishy washy, guess what I am saying is.. I don’t like being called honey!!

  4. Sandra says:

    SBW – Your comment about “jerk” reminded me of a spreadsheet I had in my computer at work listing phone and address for all the truck salesmen I dealt with. There was a comments section, but I never used it,except in one case. For that particular guy I had “jack ass” in his comments section. I had to smile whenever he called and I would see my “previous opinion” of him. Of course, I wouldn’t have called him that, but it made me feel better to at least WRITE it. 🙂

    Chrissy — you and SBW have presented a balanced opinion on this by two people who have actually done this kind of work. I appreciate that. And, in the end, if we get good service, I guess I can put up with “honey” once in a while.

    Thanks for your insights, both of you.

  5. Muddleman says:

    Now that I think about it, I am so used to hearing “Honey” spoken by every waitress at every diner, that I actually notice when the DON’T call me “Honey.”

  6. Sandra says:

    Muddleman — THAT is sad. I can only suggest that maybe you’re hanging out in the wrong places 🙂

  7. Sharon-shutterbug says:

    I just came across your blog today, so I don’t know where you live, but I grew up in Tennessee, and as Muddleman said, it would be more noticeable if the waitress DIDN’T call me “honey” down there. I think it’s just part of the infamous Southern hospitality. I may not actually MISS it up here in Michigan, but whenever I go back to Tenn. and hear it, I think “Ahhh . . . I’m home . . . “

  8. Sandra says:

    You know, Sharon, I don’t think much about it when someone with a Southern drawl says it. It’s those young NORTHERN “kids” who irritate me. I am originally from the very southern part of Missouri, and I love a good accent too.

  9. Sandra says:

    By the way, Sharon. I’m in Indiana, and Muddleman is, I believe, from NEW JERSEY! I’m surprised he hears it much.

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