When you’re 61 (can anything good come from a blog that starts like that?), it is a surprise every morning to get up and see how things about your body have changed, seemingly overnight! And hardly ever for the good.
Apparently, while I am blissfully sleeping, my body is taking that down time to make “adjustments,” i.e., to rearrange, deflate, soften up, wrinkle and turn up the ache volume on various parts of my body. Also, I firmly believe that information that I used to be able to retain with ease in my brain, now leaks out my ear when I lay down to sleep at night. I never had a great memory, but it is AWFUL now. Let me just suggest that when you visit me after I’ve moved to “the home” — where a name tag.
Particularly annoying is the way aging has influenced my eyebrows. Most of my life, the experts said that you should never pluck above your eyebrows; and I always obeyed that rule. But now, plucking is the only thing standing between my eyebrows and my hairline meeting! Let me just suggest to each of you that RIGHT NOW you go to the mirror and memorize where your eyebrows are and what their shape is. Better yet, take a picture without your make-up on, so that you will have a future reference, when your eyebrows no longer remember where they are supposed to be, and strike out on their own in every direction!
I see some women who apparently have solved this problem by removing their eyebrows entirely, and then drawing them on. One memorable lady, who worked in a bakery that I used to visit, had perfectly drawn half-moon eyebrows that were hard not to stare at. For the life of me I couldn’t think of a way to casually ask her if she used a protractor to draw on her eyebrows. But, I couldn’t think of how else she could have gotten them so perfectly, and startlingly drawn on each day.
So, in conclusion, if you ever meet me, please try not to stare at my eyebrows. I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN!!! OKAY??
As the saying goes, “Getting old is not for sissies.”
I have to go now. I need to go buy some ear plugs and a protractor.